Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret: A Tender Portrait of Puberty, Identity, and Growing Up Uncertain

Year: 2023
Directed by: Kelly Fremon Craig
Starring: Abby Ryder Fortson, Rachel McAdams, Kathy Bates

What does it feel like to grow up when your body is changing faster than your sense of self, and no one seems to be giving you clear answers?

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret is a quiet, deeply empathetic coming-of-age film that captures the emotional interior of early adolescence. Set in the 1970s, the story follows 11-year-old Margaret Simon as she navigates puberty, friendships, and questions about religion after moving from New York City to the suburbs. Rather than dramatizing adolescence, the film honors its awkwardness, uncertainty, and intensity with remarkable emotional accuracy.

Scroll down for the PsychiaTRICs Score as our psychiatrist weighs in on what this film gets right about child development, puberty, and identity formation.

Synopsis

Margaret is an earnest, curious preteen on the cusp of adolescence. After relocating with her parents, she is thrust into a new social world dominated by whispered conversations about bras, periods, and growing up. As her peers obsessively compare bodies and milestones, Margaret anxiously waits for her own body to change, wondering when, or if, she will catch up.

Alongside her physical development, Margaret quietly grapples with questions about religion. Raised by a Christian mother and a Jewish father who chose not to raise her in either faith, Margaret turns to God privately, speaking openly and honestly in moments of confusion, hope, and disappointment. Her conversations with God mirror the uncertainty of her developmental stage: sincere, searching, and unfiltered. 

Through small moments rather than dramatic arcs, the film paints a portrait of early adolescence as a time of vulnerability, longing, and self-comparison.

Key Mental Health & Developmental Themes

Puberty Anxiety and Body Comparison

One of the film’s greatest strengths is its honest portrayal of puberty-related anxiety. Margaret and her friends obsessively track physical changes, ranking development as if it were a competition. Breasts, bras, and menstruation become symbols of belonging and maturity, rather than neutral biological processes.

From a developmental perspective, this reflects a very real phenomenon: early adolescence is marked by heightened self-consciousness and social comparison. The film captures how children at this age often over-identify with physical milestones, equating bodily change with worth, acceptance, and adulthood. Importantly, the movie avoids pathologizing this anxiety, but instead presents it as a normal, if painful, part of growing up.

Identity Formation in Early Adolescence

Psychologist Erik Erikson described childhood development as a series of emotional stages, each shaped by a central question. In late childhood, kids are focused on competence, wondering whether they can succeed and fit in. As adolescence begins, that focus gradually shifts toward identity, with quieter but more personal questions about who they are and where they belong.

Margaret’s story unfolds right at this transition. She is no longer only trying to do well socially or academically. She is beginning to reflect on how her body, beliefs, and friendships shape who she is becoming. The film treats identity as something that develops over time rather than something that must be resolved quickly. From a developmental perspective, this is both realistic and healthy. Early adolescence is meant to be exploratory, uncertain, and unfinished.

Religion as a Tool for Meaning-Making

Margaret’s private conversations with God are not portrayed as dogmatic or institutional. Instead, they function as a coping space where she processes confusion, hope, and disappointment. For many children, spirituality or religion serves this purpose. It offers a way to make sense of uncertainty at a stage when emotions are intense and abstract reasoning is still developing.

When Margaret’s body does not change as she hopes, she becomes angry and stops talking to God altogether. That rupture matters. It reflects how belief can falter when expectations feel unmet, especially during emotionally vulnerable moments. By the end of the film, when Margaret finally gets her period, she begins speaking to God again. The return is quiet and unforced, reinforcing a central truth the film handles with care: belief is not fixed. It ebbs and flows. Questioning, anger, distance, and return are all normal parts of how children and adolescents make meaning, and all of them are okay.

Emotionally Attuned Parenting

Rachel McAdams’ portrayal of Margaret’s mother stands out for its emotional realism. She is warm, present, and open, yet imperfect. She remembers the discomfort of her own adolescence and tries to protect Margaret while still allowing her space to grow. As a character, she reflects a parent who listens, shares appropriately, and remains emotionally available even when the answers are not clear.

From a mental health perspective, this reflects secure attachment. Attachment theory describes how children learn whether the adults in their lives are safe, responsive, and emotionally reliable. When caregivers consistently show up with warmth and openness, children feel more comfortable exploring the world and their own feelings. The film subtly contrasts this with earlier generations’ silence around puberty, suggesting that open communication and emotional availability can reduce anxiety during times of rapid change.

PsychiaTRICs Score: Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret

Themes (Mental Health): 5/5
Why? – The film beautifully captures puberty-related anxiety, early identity formation, and emotional development with minimal exaggeration or stigma.

Real-Life Relevance: 5/5
Why? – Margaret’s experiences reflect common and recognizable moments in early adolescence, especially for young girls navigating bodily change and social belonging. 

Impact (Emotional/Artistic): 4/5
Why? – Gentle and emotionally resonant, the film keeps the external stakes small so that Margaret’s internal experiences drive the story, prioritizing authenticity over dramatic tension in a way that may not fully land for every viewer.

Clinical Reflection: 3.5/5
Why? – The film does an excellent job showing healthy adolescent development within a stable and supportive family, but its narrow focus makes it harder to apply its insights to adolescents whose experiences are shaped by different cultural backgrounds, family structures, or life stressors.

Final Verdict – 17.5/20

Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret is a gentle, emotionally grounded portrayal of early adolescence that excels at normalizing the uncertainty and vulnerability of puberty and identity formation, especially for young girls. While its focus on a stable, supportive family makes the story feel affirming and accessible, it also limits how broadly its insights apply to adolescents shaped by different cultural contexts, family structures, or life stressors. The film’s strength comes from showing that becoming oneself is shaped by small moments, not just big events.